My Gender Euphoria: An AFAB Non-binary Perspective

Gender Euphoria refers to feeling a  trans person gets when they are able to start presenting as the gender they identify. Basically, this is the opposite of gender dysphoria, which is a negative feeling surrounding one’s gender identity. 

Like with gender dysphoria, there are two types; body euphoria (which is when you feel good about your body), and social euphoria (which can occur when, for example, you are gendered). I’m still figuring out what makes me euphoric, as I think I’m dysphoric about my body, and my social dysphoria is bad – so any possible feeling of euphoria feels “weird”, but this is possibly because I’m not used to it. 

But, I’m going to try and write about what makes me euphoric, but here goes. Firstly, I go to an LGBTQ+ youth group, and we do something called the go-round question – basically, this is where we say our name, pronouns and then we answer the question (so, for example, I would say, “Hi – my name is Casey, I use they/them pronouns and {insert answer here”}). This makes me feel a sense of euphoria because I know that the people there will respect and use my pronouns, which does feel weird, but in a positive way – I guess its because my pronouns are so rarely used, so its a weird surprise when people I know use them.

Secondly, I feel euphoric in certain clothing – this is mostly due to certain clothing, like button-up and flannels. I can’t explain why this makes me feel good, but I’m going to guess – its probably because I wear a sports bra, which sure kinda helps with my chest dysphoria, makes my chest look somewhat flat. Additionally, I think, in terms of clothing, its because I’ve ‘found my style’ – this is because I shop at vintage clothing shops, and I a ‘Dream Closet’ on Pinterest, which has been a HUGE help because it has given me a base from where I can work on my style, and find more of what I like. 

Thirdly, and I mentioned this in my gender dysphoria blog post, but I like my broad shoulders – there make me feel masculine/androgynous, which makes me feel euphoric simply because it makes me feel good about my AFAB, non-binary body, which I think gender euphoria is about. I also like the shape of my face (I think I have a round face, but I love it) – again, I can’t explain why I feel euphoric about my face, but I guess its because it balances out (in my mind) my typically “masculine” shoulders, so my face adds something which I see as “feminine” (which is weird because “femininity” doesn’t make me feel euphoric). 

In addition, I feel like my hair – I’m currently growing it out so I can have the bisexual bob. I hope this makes me feel euphoric, as I hope it will make me feel androgynous (side note: not all non-binary are androgynous, as some are ‘transmasculine’, and some are ‘transfeminine’) – but I want to look androgynous, so I hope my new hairstyle will help me achieve this.  

I’m still figuring out my gender euphoria, as I only discovered that I was non-binary when I was 18. Maybe I’ll figure out what gender euphoria means to me one day, or maybe I’m already taking positive steps to what my gender euphoria feels like to me. But, I guess I feel euphoric about the things I’ve mentioned above because I’m presenting in the way I want, and since I’m expressing my gender the way I want makes me feel free – so maybe gender euphoria is a feeling of freedom, a sense of feeling good in your body? Either way, gender euphoria feels weirdly positive, but in a good way,  and I guess that’s the most important thing. 

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